Side Chick Shenanigans

There has been this upward trend of side chick terminology passed around, especially amongst women of color. The “Side Chick” is a woman who is knowingly in a sexual relationship with a guy who is taken and is in fact not really hers to claim. The side chick used to go by other names such as ‘the other woman’ or mistress etc. This has been a trend for some time and hopefully it dies real soon.

I am in fact getting sick and tired of the glorification of the cheating man and the women feeling obligated to add to the list of other shenanigans of the cheating male that they are just supposed to take, accept and assimilate.

Do you mean to tell me that all these people claiming and pronouncing side chicks all over are really about that life?

I think not, because people are still out here getting their hearts broken. If you assumed the role of a side chick knowingly, then there shouldn’t be any hurt, you did that to yourself. Because that man has told you that before we even get to the know each other, I don’t really want to know you and I don’t think you are worthy of even a half decent committed relationship with me (which with this kind of man you couldn’t get a happy result if you tried). So stop allowing men to bestow this title on you and you wear it like a badge of honor. That’s not how this works, if there was no secret wrongdoing going on, you wouldn’t have to be called a side chick.

No one should really want to be a side chick, that’s a role that’s based off deception.


What about the main chick?

Really “Main” chick?

We need to stop promoting a culture that supports the ‘commitment deficiency’ of men. In my opinion whatever you do in a relationship is fine and dandy as long as all parties are consenting and aware adults. Truth is though, most of these men are not bold enough to talk to a woman he is with prior to entering another relationship. A simple honest exchange of words where he expresses his love for his girl yet explains he needs action elsewhere. How is that so hard?  Hence, the label side/main chick is given after the act, and rarely before.

Now see, that in my mind is just cheating and that’s just automatically not okay. Cheating is a decision, you can’t handle the reality that is a monogamous relationship so rather than close that chapter you sneak around. It’s just a sad sad life lol. No grown person should resort to cheating in a relationship, find your courage, make a decision or wait it out and see. #StayGrownNotMessy

Some of you might think I’m being too hard on the man, I’m not. Here’s why, when he started the relationship with the main chick, what was the intention of that relationship, what was the conversation like those long nights on the phone or when y’all went out on dates. If he never implied a lasting monogamous relationship to begin with thats cool. But these type of men don’t ‘get’ women by sharing their true intentions.

Now a days ladies, you gotta got into a relationship a bit differently. Everything you assumed or ever learned about a relationship drop it out of your mind. There are too many titles and subtitles. Never assume that the other person is seeking the same thing you are in a relationship. If you didn’t ask, you don’t know. And don’t think you are exempt from cheating. I just happen to be talking strictly about the term side and main chick. I think overall we should just stop lying to each other, if you believe in polygamous relationships then express that, be honest with yourself and the other person from start to finish. Give the other party a fair chance at making a decision. When you begin relationships with lies, they are bound to be doomed.

What do you think? Do you embrace side chicks title? Do you or anyone you know actually want to be a side chick?

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