“The ____ Black Woman”

Common Black Woman Misconceptions

 

Angry

Well, what did you do? I think everyone has the ability to be angry. However, when they refer to this term and apply it to black women they are talking about the angry at the world, hateful, man eating she-demon, brought to life by, well, the black man. Unfortunately, black men are the main ones that use the term “ angry black woman”. Anyone can be angry and then they get over it, black women can too. Let’s not perpetuate and give “angry” this superpower, we know we are magic but sheesh we move on too.

 

Bitter

As Issa Rae concurred in the first 2 minutes of Insecure Season 1 Episode 1, when a fresh ass kid in her class told her “My daddy says ain’t nobody checkin’ for a bitter ass black women anymore”

Her Response:

“Tell your daddy, black women aren’t bitter. They’re just tired of being expected to settle for less” all in a composed manner (Thank you Issa). 

insecure episode 1

And that means less in all realms really, relationships, jobs, education, respect.Women have been affirming the treatment they deserve for years, just seems to fall on deaf ears, which brings me to my next point.

 

Loud/ Ghetto

This piggybacks off of the angry and bitter stereotype. Too often we are silenced and warned about having too much of a voice. That ‘seen and not heard’ is taught to us early in life. Those of us who have siblings of the opposite gender could probably tell the difference eventually in the freedom males have to express themselves versus women. Well the caged bird sings, we recognize and get frustrated that even when we speak out we are unheard, naturally if I feel you didnt heard me, I repeat and increase in volume. Soft spoken black women do exist, but a gentle voice is still worth listening to. The stereotype that we are all loud is false. You’re just not used to seeing and hearing us.

 

Bald

We can grow hair, unless there’s some underlying medical issue. Just cause it doesn’t sweep the floor or our waist doesn’t mean we are bald, There is such a thing as shrinkage.

Image result for natural hair shrinkage

Shrinkage is the difference between what your hair looks like when it’s wet and gently stretched to its maximum length and what it looks like when it’s dry.

Some of us like our hair short or bald on purpose (bald baddies do exist) . Some like a weave or a piece too. Whatever it is we choose to have going on up top just don’t touch it that’s all.

 

Unattractive

Bish where???. Check out the Instagram tags and the million pages dedicated to black beauty. If we weren’t attractive non blacks wouldn’t be out here doing things and shelling out stacks for operations to make themselves look more like us. But the reality is, attraction is more than skin deep. You can hook em with your looks but what happens after that is a whole nother story. There are levels to attraction and the possibilities for turn offs are endless.

 

Lonely

Some of us want to be alone, not everyone wants a relationship at the moment and I encourage you to stop putting pressure on women to be tied down to just anybody to satisfy your own voids. Besides if you are cool with who you are there shouldn’t be a problem with being single for a moment, you know what’s worth the effort and what’s not. People.. just respect that.

 

Independent

Since when was this a bad thing? It seems only when applied to black women is being too independent a thing. Well if you’re too stubborn to seek help when you need it then I believe it is a detriment. But wanting to be able to do for yourself, your children, that’s boss moves. No one should shame that. Also, being independent and being alone are not mutually exclusive. I can be an independent black woman and be married with kids.

 

I’m hopeful we can dead this conversation about black women being all these negative traits and more. Truth is no one is perfect and anyone can possess negative qualities. For some reason though the black woman tends to be the target of the worse and more amplified kinds. Simple words here have deeper rooted meaning and therefore they sting a lot more. Especially when coming from other black men and women. The people that are supposed to identify with us and help demolish that imagery are painting over our progress which a thick brush. These imposed character traits aim at destructing our ability to express emotions, opinions and reduces our rightful sentiments to mere shoo-able “bad attitudes”.

 

How do you feel about the narrative circling black women? How can we put this to rest once and for all?

 

From your friendly neighborhood,

Not-so-much as angry, definately not bitter, short haired, sometimes loud, beautiful, independent but not alone black woman

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